A client recently asked me when I get work done and when I workout.
It’s a simple question — but one that I wasn’t able to answer through a quick text.
So I replied “It’s not so much about the schedule as it is about the mindset shift that needs to take place.”
Then I sent her a 7 minute video talking to her directly about how to make that happen, which I’ll be sharing with you soon!
Finally, I made a visual schedule on Google Sheets to answer her question in greater detail.
My oldest has pretty much outgrown her nap, but my youngest is still taking one — so I alternate when we go out and when we stay home during my week. That way we have a fun day and then follow it with a rev
I find that this prevents over-tiredness on their behalf but it also gives me the ability to change my environent so that when I stay home I’m taking care of my home and when I leave I can focus better on bigger projects without so many distractions. Kiddos is an indoor playplace that allows the kids to learn Montessori style while I get to sit from a distance and work. They’ve now added a concierge service to all their members that allow us to order food and Starbucks whenever we want. I could literally be there ALL day taking care of their basic needs if Esben didn’t have to go home to nap. This place is one of the biggest reasons I’ve been able to get so much done and it’s been such a blessing to have so close to home.
What it looks like at home:
- My husband gets the kids ready while I make breakfast.
- While the kids eat breakfast with daddy, I’m unloading dishes and putting in the new ones in.
- When they finish I load a dirty pile of laundry to be washed and then unload the dry clothes into a basket.
- Between 9-10 am we turn the t.v. on while I make my coffee and eat my hot breakfast in peace and check in with my clients.
- At 10 my kids and I clean something together. I give them some kind of duster, a broom, or a rag to “clean” with me.
- Around 10:30 I move them to an activity or I let them initiate something. If they are full and well rested they usually find something to do or request some kind of activity. But the point is, I hang out with them and give them my undivided attention for at least 20-30 minutes.
- Around 11 am I physically move on to a work related task once I see that they are having fun by themselves. If they come up to me, I acknowledge them for a minute and then remind them that “mommy is teaching people how to eat and workout” and that I’ll play with them when I’m done. I don’t necessarily look at the time anymore, but when I was “training” them to play independently I would set up a Pomodoro app that made a swishing noise and set it for small intervals that would allow me to say “baby, you hear that sound? When it goes off that means I’m done working and then we can play ok?”
- The point is I didn’t give into their requests and I also NEVER broke my promise. Part of the “training” involved discipline if they were adamant about wanting to get their way. This was simply a “please don’t ask me again or you’ll go to your room. What do you want to choose? To play and wait for me or to not play and go into your room?”
- My daughter is now 4.5 and my son is 2. They are able to play without much fighting simply because I have taken the time to train them. I have also set up the environment where their acitivities are close to me but apart from me simultaneously. That way I can hear what’s going on or see what happened so I can discipline accordingly.
- When I’m at my computer desk for example, they are usually outside playing with water, play-dough, dirt, watercolors, or jumping in their trampoline in close proximity. I am always able to see and hear them. Sometimes I play music for them on an Alter Lansing Boom Jacket and other times I let them play quietly.
- Basically, in the morning I work in eb’s and flows of going in and coming out. I like to get them involved as much as possible and make it a fun event for them. It wasn’t like this before though – I used to resent the fact that they made messes while I was cleaning. So to prevent that I’ve been actively working on becoming a minimalist while getting my kids involved in the “Were becoming clean together “and celebrating that as a an actual event – with high fives and everything. The kids now enjoy throwing their trash away and are able to locate where things go. It’s been such an challenging, yet rewarding experience to transform our small home into a functional home. Were not closed to finished, but I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s something I’ve been sharing openly on my Instagram account and sometimes in stories.
What it looks like at Kiddo’s:
- My husband gets the kids ready while I make breakfast (or vice versa). This is usually a quick protein smoothie & a piece of cheese.
- While they eat, I start getting everything ready to leave.
- Before I leave I load a dirty pile of laundry to be washed and then unload the dry clothes into a basket.
- Before we go into kiddos, I pick up Starbucks through a mobile order while the kids eat a snack.
- The kids are excited to go play. So that’s what they do until about 12:30.
- We have lunch and then we leave just in time to make it home for Esben’s nap.
- Nap times are used for different things depending on the day.
So basically, this is an elaborate answer to my clients’; question that I deicded to share with all of you.
The beauty of a schedule is not so that you feel pressured by it, but that you have a reference point when your emotions want to get in the way. It’s a way of committing ahead of time to what you want to do. I use it as a map so that I don’t get lost in the day-to -day details of being a stay at home mom who also wants to be there for you.
The schedule is never set in stone. It is meant to be broken when we go on vacations or when special things pop up. The schedule serves you, but it should never ensalve you. And more importantly this is YOUR schedule, not your kid’s.
Can’t wait to share with you all the mindset shifts that can happen so that you my friend can learn to take control of your day instead of it controling you.
Much Love, DeeDee